Xavier's Wacky Races
by c-wolf
Summary: based on the old cartoon series by Hannah Barbara, Wacky Races


Inspired, or psychotically driven by the cartoon series known as Wacky Races (Grin)  
  
"Here we are at todays, Xavier's Wacky Races. As we all prepare to watch them race cross country from Bayville, NY to San Antonio Texas, lets go over the names of the drivers."  
  
"In car number one, is Professor Xavier, Being driven by Wolverine." A psychotic grin was on Logan's face, while Xavier was drinking something that looked suspiciously like alcohol.  
  
"Car Number two, is Remy Lebeau. He's driving a black sports car with red stripes." Gambit had his feet on the dashboard and had a cheshire cat grin on his face.  
  
"In car number three, Lance and Kitty are preparing for the race in an unusual way. um, better not show that shot."  
  
"In car number four, Storm and Rogue are discussing loudly who should drive."  
  
"In car number five, Tabitha and Kurt are driving Lance's Jeep. I've just been informed that Kurt has decided to let her drive. Hope he knows what he's doing. She looks a little wild for driving"  
  
"In Car number six, it's the man known as Magneto, driving a sleek limousine. With him is his sidekick, Pyro." (a hehehehehe comes from Pyro periodically while grinning mischievously for no reason)  
  
"The introductions are made. Now it's time for: Xavier's Wacky Races!!!"  
  
"And they're off! With Logan driving, Xavier takes an early lead (screams are heard coming from Xavier as the car takes off and reaches 100 plus.) Leaving Gambit in the dust, who has just now got his car in gear and is trying to catch up. Lance and Kitty have just now realized that the race has begun.. Oh-Oh looks like Lance forgot to get fully dressed. Hope he doesn't get pulled over."  
  
"Storm and Rogue is pulling up on Logan, with Tabitha and Kurt close behind." (screams are heard coming from Kurt, as Tabitha careens every which way but loose cackling madly all the way)  
  
"Magneto is slowly catching up."  
  
"We need to do something Pyro. They're getting ahead. Hmm." (calling upon his power of magnetism, he uses it as a tether to pull his car closer to the lead, doubling his speed as a result. Suddenly, it takes off as if jet- propelled, while Pyro flies out of the car and rolls for a few feet down the road. Sabertooth comes along and kicks him, then Juggernaut appears out of no where and rolls him up into a ball. Then he uses Pyro as a bowling ball. Magneto slams into a rock wall after Logan took too tight a turn and the car exploded. Miraculously he survived, and staggered away.  
  
"Well, that's one down, Gambit has finally started to catch up! He's really moving. Ohoh, Lance has been pulled over and is being handcuffed. Kitty is yelling at the police officer in return for him. She's being arrested for irritating the officer. So ends their race. And night arrives. Looks like Kurt can take over now, if he's survived"  
  
A tire blew out on Gambit's car, causing him to slam into the jeep. Kurt flew out the window, grabbing Tabitha on the way. He curled about her to protect her as he flew into Storm and Rogue's car, scaring them, and then they crashed into Xavier's car. Everyone survived of course, though Xavier tried to figure out how Kurt had managed to fly into his shirt upside down, and why Tabitha looked like she was trying to kiss Wolverine. Gambit came up, grinned, shuffled his cards, then said "Who's up for a card game?" Storm and Rogue stumbled out of the remains of the carriage, and started yelling at Kurt and Tabitha.  
  
Xavier woke up groggily, got into his wheelchair, and rolled into the bathroom. After getting out, he decided to go into the kitchen. On the way, he saw Kurt hanging upside down in somebody's shirt on the coat rack. Then he passed by Tabitha who had her lips locked on Logan, who was trying vainly to push her away so he could run. Gambit for some odd reason had 4 hands of cards dealt out on a table, 3 of them belonging to the stuffed animals placed around the table. Storm and Rogue ran through, tripped over Xavier, and sent him and his wheelchair sprawling. All the while yelling about Kurt and Tabitha pulling some weird stunt. Cyclops meanwhile, found Lance in the mansion for some odd reason. Screams were heard as Lance went flying out a window. Followed by Scott who had ticked off Kitty in the process of throwing out Lance.  
  
Pyro woke up, and found that he had somehow become Sabertooth's teddy bear. His screams woke up Magneto who had been having wonderful dreams about racecars. Magneto got up to go to the kitchen, his powers somehow interacted the wrong way with the microwave. He wound up in the living room, smouldering, having no idea how he got there. 


End file.
